I never thought you would leave me this early but I think God wanted you more than he wanted me to have you. I miss you every single minute of the day! I see you all around our building and outside I can hear your voice around me asking me, “What did you cook me for breakfast at 11am?” I can hear you saying, “Your ladies meeting is over?” When we sit outside and talk, you always peeked on us.
Andy, it’s so hard to live without you, you are the reason I am who I am right now. You wanted to move to India and start the ministry, you wanted so many children! God gave you everything you wanted and He called you home forever!
Ten years ago, Dr. Samuel called me and asked, “Are you guys still interested in doing the ministry in India?” I know Andy always wanted to do that. I did not answer him. He said, “Susan do not tell me now, you pray and talk about it with Andy.”
When I told Andy about the phone call from Dr. Samuel, he jumped up and said, “I will go!” He was so excited! Andy asked me what I thought about it. I did not say anything. I was very nervous, the first question that came to my mind was how will we live there and we didn’t have anything. Andy turned around and asked me, “Do you believe in God? Susan, Do you trust Him?” I did not say a word. Andy said, “Susan until you obey God and do what He wants us to do for his Kingdom He will never bless you with a child. You can pray all you want for a blue eyed baby boy but He will not give it to you.” I did not mind what he said to me because he was right about that.
Andy found one of his journals where he visited India back in 1998. There he found where he always loved Alwar and He wanted to live there! Alwar was the best to him. Andy moved to India all by himself for 2 years. I was not ready. I was so scared. How would we live there? Andy’s best friend, Brian Nunes, told Andy, ”You should go if He calls you to India. I will help you!” Brian is still helping us.
Andy came to live in India and died in India like he wanted. He always told everyone that when he died anywhere in the world he wanted his heart buried in India. If you knew Andy Lepper, you will know what I am saying. God fulfilled Andy's dream. He got buried at the place he lived at for 9.5 years.
A big thank you to Dr. Samuel Thomas who gave the permission to bury Andy at Our Shiloh home. Thank you Dr. Samuel for taking care of everything at that time. I do not know what I would’ve done without you. When I asked Dr. Samuel to tell Micah boy that his daddy was with Jesus, he told him and he understood it. Micah looked at me and asked, “My dada margaya (my dad died)?” I looked at his eyes and I couldn’t look at him anymore.
At that time we were on lock down. The market was closed, but our Uncle Monachan helped us with everything. After all this was over, I did not know what to do. I felt like my life was over. I did not know what to do or who would take care of us, who will be there for us? So many things came to my mind during that time. Dr. Samuel called and said, “Susan, what would you like to do?” I told him I wanted to live in Alwar and continue the ministry that Andy started. Dr. Samuel said, “Praise God for that.” Dr. Samuel said that as long as we are alive we will take care of you and Micah Boy. You are not alone. We are all here for you. God is always with you. Those words touched my heart. I said, “How can I do this ministry by myself?” and he said, “You can do it. God will give you strength and knowledge.” At that time Dr. Samuel’s encouraging words made me a little bit stronger.
Andy’s parents and sister have been a big help for me. I still have a hard time talking to Andy’s parents. When I look at mama, I cry. Thank you, Amy, for hearing all of my sadness. I can call her anytime and cry with her. She always answers my phone call even at midnight.
Thank you to all my American friends for your kind messages and phone calls. Your encouragement has helped me so much. Thank you to all of our board members for all of their help! A big thank you to Aunty Lisa who has helped me in so many ways and is continuing to help me. Thank you to all of my kids, staff, my church members, all of my Indian family who have prayed for us. I appreciate every single one of you for praying for us. It is by God’s Grace! I could not do this by myself without all of the prayers, love and support.
It’s so hard to believe that Andy is not here. Micah Boy acts just like Andy! Not just a little bit either, he is just like him! There are many times I get scared to look at Micah because he is such a little Andy. He has a heart just like his Dad. His emotions are just like his Dad's. Micah can’t watch people being sad. I wish Andy was here to see all of this. He would be so proud.
As a baby, Micah has always loved Samuel Thomas. He tells everyone that Samuel is his best friend. One Sunday, Dr. Samuel was preaching about Paul. We were all watching on the television. At the end of the message, he asked whoever wants to be like Paul raise your hand and I will pray for you. Micah Boy got up and walked closer to the television. He raises his hands up. I felt someone walk in front of me. I open my eyes and saw Micah looking at me. He said, “Close your eyes Mama, you tell everyone to close their eyes when someone is praying. Why did you open your eye?” That is Andy right there! When the service was over I asked him why did you lift your hand and what did you pray? He said, "I want Jesus in my heart, I will go like Paul. I prayed for Jesus to come into my heart.” I cried a lot that day. I saw Andy in Micah. I was very sad Andy was not here to experience Micah asking Jesus into his heart. I know Andy is so very proud of his son.
I want to share a few things about Andy’s tombstone. First, I want to give a big thank you to Dr. Samuel Thomas for designing it all and making it so beautiful. In my whole life I could’ve never thought or imagined how to do this. Dr. Samuel had two designs. He showed Micah boy the designs and asked him which one would he pick. Micah boy picked his favorite one and Dr. Samuel told Micah he will make it absolutely beautiful. Micah enjoyed working with the workers for many days. It took 2 months to finish. Workers came from Kota. Thank you Sambhiya for making it very special and beautiful. Thank you also for paying for all the expenses.
I do not know what I would’ve done without you and your family. Thank you for all of your help, encouragement and support. Thank you Shelley Aunty for your kind and encouraging words. You have always stood beside me like my sister. Thank you to all of my friends and family! Your support and prayers mean so much to us. We love every single one of you!
Happy 19th Anniversary, my precious husband. I love and miss you every single day!